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Image for article titled Treasury Special Ops Remove Money From Circulation By Sniping Dollar Bills Out Of Americans’ Hands

WASHINGTON—Placing the tattered currency in their rifle’s crosshairs as they perched on a nearby roof, the U.S. Treasury special ops team successfully removed money from circulation Tuesday by sniping dollar bills out of Americans’ hands. “We’ve acquired the target,” said lead agent Kenneth Brockheim, holding his finger against the trigger as he observed an unsuspecting passerby remove an old and crumpled bill from his wallet and begin handing it to a street vendor. “This is it—I’ve got a clean shot! I’m taking it. Repeat, I’m taking the shot!” At press time, Brockheim was reportedly horrified after the shot accidentally took out a five-month-old quarter.

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